Arm in Arm, Step by Step, and Holding On for Dear Life!

Nancy and Joe on our way to morning exercise at the gymnasium

Professor Joe Goldblatt

For nearly 50 years, as we have grown older, I have noticed that my wife walks much faster than I do. I find myself regularly trailing along behind her by several metres. Just recently I have learned how to keep up with her fast stride. I simply slip my left hand and forearm in her right forearm and hold on for dear life. This physically and emotionally connects us and instead of feeling left behind I feel as though we are both moving forward together.

As one ages there are many different experiences, My own sixth age is perhaps best described by William Shakespeare in his famous speech “All the World’s a Stage” from his play As You Like It. He wrote …

… The sixth age shifts

Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,

With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;

His youthful hose, well sav’d, a world too wide

For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,

Turning again toward childish treble, pipes

And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,

That ends this strange eventful history,

Is second childishness and mere oblivion;

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

William Shakespeare (1564 – 1616) from As You Like It (1599).

Facing each day as an older person, as my mother once said, “Is not for sissies” and requires new courage, ambition, and persistence. I have been fortunate that for over four decades I have had the privilege of having a partner by my side who has suffered my missteps, confessions, and inevitable faux pas with superior courage, forgiveness, patience, and grace.

I have often been asked by younger people to describe the secret to a long and satisfactory marriage. The secret is simply that there is no secret. The satisfaction comes from hard work conducted together. One example of this marital wisdom was shared with Nancy and myself by Dr Dorothy Finkelhor (1902 – 1988) and her husband Herb (1901 – 1994) when forty years ago they visited us for tea in our home in Washington, DC. Dorothy and Herb were the founders in 1933 of a small secretarial and business school with eight students in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania that became over time the renowned private Point Park University with nearly 5000 students that is now the home of the famous Pittsburgh Playhouse.

I asked Dorothy, who was then in her early early eighties if she and Herb had experienced any challenges in their long marriage. She closed her eyes in deep thought and then announced “When he became a vegetarian!” She then described the difficulties of after many years of togetherness of suddenly having to adapt to his new dietary needs.

When Nancy and I were married we received many lovely gifts, however, perhaps the most priceless was from Nancy’s Aunt in North Carolina who had married for the first time in her forties and then produced two sons. She wrote to us “Do not try to change one another. Change yourself and make each another happy.”

Following nearly a half a century of trying to embrace this wise advice I am continually surprised at my own stages of ageing that while not nearly as eloquent as William Shakespeare, these words do reflect my own journey of growing old.

Adulting

Twenty had plenty,

Thirty was dirty.

Forty is naughty,

Fifty then nifty.

Sixty aches arising,

Seventy? Totally surprising!

Joe Goldblatt 2025

One of my most pleasant surprises is learning how to keep up with Nancy by simply extending my arm into hers and holding on for dear life for the next fascinating journey of our lives together. I hope I can continue to keep up with her because I am certain that wherever life leads us it will be filled with an exciting, adventurous, and continuing love story, arm in arm, step by step.

Professor Joe Goldblatt is Emeritus Professor of Planned Events at Queen Margaret University in Edinburgh, Scotland. His views are his own. For more information about his views visit www.joegoldblatt.scot