Growing Older and Wiser
The author strolling in
Washington Square Park in New York City
Professor Joe Goldblatt
When my mother died I was surprised to see that of the 400 people at her funeral the majority were young women under the age of forty. Mama often told my sister and I that “old age is not for sissies” and one way she battled on through multiple illnesses was by surrounding herself with younger people.
Perhaps that is why I was surprised and disappointed by two blatant examples of ageism that I experienced this month. In one instance an usher at a festival venue rolled her eyes at me in dismay (perhaps disgust) when I could not easily locate my electronic tickets within my mobile phone.
A few days later I tried to return a pair of shoes to a retailer with whom I had traded for over 25 years and was told “YOU should know at your age that returns are not allowed.” This time I rolled my eyes in shock and disappointment.
Although a large percentage of the population is ageing rapidly, we are surrounded by young people who provide us with services, products, and also through their toil, support our pensions. Therefore, I wondered after each of these instances why there seems to be such a gap between my ageing sensitivity and the cold, callous, and thoughtless treatment of my generation by some young people?
When I was director of a large continuing education programme I was told by my superiors not to enroll young and old people in the same class as there would be a culture clash. I disagreed and told my superiors that the young people could help the older students with their computer skills and the older folk could potentially help the younger people find employment through their extensive network. I was correct and my superiors began to support blended enrollment as they saw the long term benefits of having both young and old seated side by side.
Each week during the month of August I visit local care homes to provide live entertainment. The idea is simple. Those in care homes, in many cases, are unable to attend our local festivals so we bring ther festival talent to their home. The care home residents love experiencing the music, dance and other talents of the performers and as I look into their eyes I see the memories of delight and joy returning.
Therefore, it is my firm belief that as we age, we may in many cases actually improve and grow if we are surrounded, as was my mother, with young people who are kind, thoughtful, compassionate, and curious about our lives.
My mother said at the end of her long life that some people cast their bread upon the water and hope it returns in abundance. She then added, in her case, her bread actually came back buttered.
I witnessed this at her funeral when hundreds of young women told me about their precious memories of our mother who reached out to a new generation with curiosity, kindness, compassion, and generosity. I am hopeful that the next generation I am now encountering will also do the same for we older folk so that our bread does indeed come back buttered.
Professor Joe Goldblatt is Professor Emeritus of Queen Margaret University in Edinburgh, Scotland. His views are his own. For more information about his views visit www.joegoldblatt.scot